How can I cope with dating with Bipolar II??
Question: I'm concerned about entering into a dating relationship. I'm relatively new to my diagnosis and haven't explored the relationship effects very much yet. On one hand, I don't want the guy to know yet, but on the other I want him to know why sometimes I'm ready to get some stuff started, sometimes I'm totally despondent, and other times I'm unreasonably irritable. He hasn't seen these sides of me yet. When have you told a guy/girl about being Bipolar? What are some of the troubles you face from dating in this situation? How do you (and your SO) cope with some of those issues?
Thanks!
Answers: First I have to applaud your decision not to take medicine. There are many treatments available out there that don't mask the problem but make you deal with it head on. Medication is often only a quick fix that doesn't deal with the underlining issues.
About dating with a mental illness, well he does have a right to know, but you have to follow your gut on this one. Only you will truely know the right time to tell him.
Saying it up front can scare him away, but if he sticks around that says alot about the type of guy he is. But if he is a good guy that doesn't know much about the disease he may get scared off and you may lose a great guy, so waiting it out could also be the best solution.
Again it is up to you to choose the best time to tell him. But tell him you must.
I wish you the best with your illness and always know that you are not alone and there are many support groups who can help you further with this problem from a personal stand point.
For one thing, it's very selfish of you not to tell him. He has a right to know what he's in for...I lost a wife to cancer just a few months short of our 30th anniversary. A few years later I married a woman and after the knot was tied I learned the hard way that she had schizophrenia and a few other problems. It was very turbulant and just about destroyed my life with my children and other family members. After a few years I had to send her packing. It's not fair to put anyone in that situation.
If you are going to have a serious relationship with this guy you need to be honest with him up front. If you're not then it will undermine anything and everything else in your relationship. You have to be honest with each other in order for it to have a chance. If there's no honesty in your relationship then there's nothing. How could he ever trust you?
Well, there are a number of ways to deal with this issue. By telling your partner immediately it could possibly scare him/her off due to the main stream idea that mental illness means one is crazy . The fact of the matter is that millions of Americans, not to mention people abroad, are affected by mental illness in one way or another. A bipolar disorder can be tricky, but you've done well in seeking treatment. Now that you know, you can take steps to try and catch yourself when you're having an irritable or despondent episode. Initially, I would suggest requesting space or you time during these moments while you get a feel for him/her. If this is someone you truly care about and they are worth your time, then I see no reason why they wouldn't accept your diagnosis and love you regardless. Just be careful of falling into the trap of treating him or her badly and blaming it on your condition. I've dated people like that and it's frustrating and unpleasant. Other than that, there is no reason you can't have a happy and rewarding experience on the dating scene. Good luck and I wish you the best!
If the relationship is new you might just mention you suffer from depression....society accepts that more readily and it wouldn't be a big deal but would explain some of your moods.
Once you start to have real feelings for the person, let them know by sitting them down and explaining just what Bi-Polar is.....a chemical balance in the brain....and that lithium and other drugs are prescribed to help control the highs and lows. The drugs work to a certain extent but there are still bad days. If he really cares, he'll stick by your side.
I was alone after a divorce for 24 years, was diagnosed with bi-polar 5 years ago and met and married a great guy who is very, very supportive. There are people out there who do understand. It's an illness just like any other illness, we can work around it. My Dr. said not to look at it as a mental illness because a chemical imbalance (be it thyroid or brain) is a metabolic change in the body and is much the same. Unfortunately society puts it in the class of mental illness which still carries a stigma, but shouldn't. 1 in 4 people suffers from depression, etc or any other type of mental illness so maybe it's because of the high stress lives we live now.
Tell the person after several dates when you feel the time is right. It may surprise you how supportive he could be! Good luck!
Have you tried seroquel?
I wouldnt tell him anything until you know him better. This is your business and you need to figure out if you can trust him. People are too quick to judge. Mostly because they are ignorant about a sickness and they are scared. Get yourself better and than decide if this person is worthy of this information.
I have always told people up front that I am bipolar and have gotten good feedback. You need to be comfortable with your diagnosis first and then you can move on in a relationship without fear. I would also try meds on more time, the right combo can change everything. Best of luck.
Thanks!
Answers: First I have to applaud your decision not to take medicine. There are many treatments available out there that don't mask the problem but make you deal with it head on. Medication is often only a quick fix that doesn't deal with the underlining issues.
About dating with a mental illness, well he does have a right to know, but you have to follow your gut on this one. Only you will truely know the right time to tell him.
Saying it up front can scare him away, but if he sticks around that says alot about the type of guy he is. But if he is a good guy that doesn't know much about the disease he may get scared off and you may lose a great guy, so waiting it out could also be the best solution.
Again it is up to you to choose the best time to tell him. But tell him you must.
I wish you the best with your illness and always know that you are not alone and there are many support groups who can help you further with this problem from a personal stand point.
For one thing, it's very selfish of you not to tell him. He has a right to know what he's in for...I lost a wife to cancer just a few months short of our 30th anniversary. A few years later I married a woman and after the knot was tied I learned the hard way that she had schizophrenia and a few other problems. It was very turbulant and just about destroyed my life with my children and other family members. After a few years I had to send her packing. It's not fair to put anyone in that situation.
If you are going to have a serious relationship with this guy you need to be honest with him up front. If you're not then it will undermine anything and everything else in your relationship. You have to be honest with each other in order for it to have a chance. If there's no honesty in your relationship then there's nothing. How could he ever trust you?
Well, there are a number of ways to deal with this issue. By telling your partner immediately it could possibly scare him/her off due to the main stream idea that mental illness means one is crazy . The fact of the matter is that millions of Americans, not to mention people abroad, are affected by mental illness in one way or another. A bipolar disorder can be tricky, but you've done well in seeking treatment. Now that you know, you can take steps to try and catch yourself when you're having an irritable or despondent episode. Initially, I would suggest requesting space or you time during these moments while you get a feel for him/her. If this is someone you truly care about and they are worth your time, then I see no reason why they wouldn't accept your diagnosis and love you regardless. Just be careful of falling into the trap of treating him or her badly and blaming it on your condition. I've dated people like that and it's frustrating and unpleasant. Other than that, there is no reason you can't have a happy and rewarding experience on the dating scene. Good luck and I wish you the best!
If the relationship is new you might just mention you suffer from depression....society accepts that more readily and it wouldn't be a big deal but would explain some of your moods.
Once you start to have real feelings for the person, let them know by sitting them down and explaining just what Bi-Polar is.....a chemical balance in the brain....and that lithium and other drugs are prescribed to help control the highs and lows. The drugs work to a certain extent but there are still bad days. If he really cares, he'll stick by your side.
I was alone after a divorce for 24 years, was diagnosed with bi-polar 5 years ago and met and married a great guy who is very, very supportive. There are people out there who do understand. It's an illness just like any other illness, we can work around it. My Dr. said not to look at it as a mental illness because a chemical imbalance (be it thyroid or brain) is a metabolic change in the body and is much the same. Unfortunately society puts it in the class of mental illness which still carries a stigma, but shouldn't. 1 in 4 people suffers from depression, etc or any other type of mental illness so maybe it's because of the high stress lives we live now.
Tell the person after several dates when you feel the time is right. It may surprise you how supportive he could be! Good luck!
Have you tried seroquel?
I wouldnt tell him anything until you know him better. This is your business and you need to figure out if you can trust him. People are too quick to judge. Mostly because they are ignorant about a sickness and they are scared. Get yourself better and than decide if this person is worthy of this information.
I have always told people up front that I am bipolar and have gotten good feedback. You need to be comfortable with your diagnosis first and then you can move on in a relationship without fear. I would also try meds on more time, the right combo can change everything. Best of luck.
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