My Friend Committed Suicide.??
Question: I lost my friend October 19th 2007. He hung himself in his garage and its been almost 3 months already and i still can't get over it. Everytime I start having fun he comes into my mind and i back off. Are there anyways to cope easier with this and put my mind at ease?
Answers: Jesus ******* christ- to the hahaha asshole:
F U C K Y O U!
Go burn in ******* hell, you insensitive ************* piece of ****.
Better yet, go drink some bleach (preferably in a dark, damp hole in the ground in which you will be devoured by worms and bacteria, rotting away to bone.)
*****. I can't believe you'd say something like that!
As for the question:
Know that your friend made a choice, and it is something that he felt was the right one. Something in his personality, his character, his life, anything- prevented him from seeing any benevolence in life. I am sure he loved you, his family, his other friends. I am sure he loved them more than anything, but the distortion our minds experience in suicidal and/or depressive states drowns us in guilt, feelings of inferiority, worthlessness. He though he doing the best thing for you and everyone.
Don't have his misery manifest into your own. Learn from his decisions that life is to be lived. You are here once and only once in the living flesh, and to take advantage of your opportunities and to grasp it with all your strength is the best you can make of your friend's death- show that it taught you something.
I am sorry. It is hard for me to write this, as I have come very close to checking out many times. It is hard for us to consider the true consequences of our actions sometimes. Sorry.
First of all have a *hug*, I had the same thing happen to me 2 years ago and it will stay in your mind sure but it does get easier.
What helped me was to start thinking about life in a very simple and slowed down way. What you need to say to yourself it that it was the thing the person thought was best to do and no one can change that, if you are religious think of it as what God intended, the person is not sad anymore and you need to carry on with your life and try to be happy for yourself.
If you want to see a therapist they will help and will have better advice than me.
Just take it slow and don’t try and force yourself into becoming happier straight away because it wont work, just go with the flow and it will get better.
Hope it gets better soon x
You are probably still going through the stages of grief, to which, there is often guilt that the friends and family feel; blaming themselves for not having recognised the signs, and done something about it. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type grief in the taskbar, and enter. Call: (U.S.A.) 1800 445 4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri... and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: It can't be happening.
Anger: Why ME? It's not fair?! (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as responsible )
Bargaining: Just let me live to see my son graduate.
Depression: I'm so sad, why bother with anything?
Acceptance: It's going to be OK.
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.
Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning
Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/.
Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.
Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent, Simon and Schuster.
Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.
James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins.
Worden, J. W. (2001). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional, Springer Publishing.
Allow yourself only so many minutes to think about it when the thoughts arise. Distract yourself with your favorite things. Write the friend a letter on how you feel about the suicide, how much you miss them, etc.
i would advise you to discuss this with someone proffesional, i know it may upset you a little but it will help you get on with your life. maybe visit someone like your school council for example. Good luck.
Those who were close to a person who commits suicide often have a mix of feelings. Along with the usual grief, you have a certain amount of guilt- at simply being alive yourself, at not being able to save your friend, at failing to have interfered in time- the list can be quite long. Time often helps people come to terms with both, but it might be helpful at this point if you could talk to a grief counsellor or other mental health person. Your feelings are normal, though. There isn't a specific time period by which we should have gotten over a loss, and three months is still pretty soon to expect to feel all better. If you don't want to see a grief counsellor or mental health professional, and you are a spiritual person, your spiritual advisor may be able to help you better put your feelings in perspective and in order. Eventually you will feel better, and more able to enjoy your own life, without the feelings you currently have. But for your own peace of mind in the meantime, just consider talking it over with somebody trained to understand and help.
It will take some time. It would be a good idea to talk to someone like a school counselor, Pastor of your church or there are even support groups that meet for people who have lost a friend or family member to suicide. Try looking in your local newspaper or telephone book for one of these support groups. Take care and give yourself time to greive and heal.
i think its just going to take time. most importantly you have to know that it wasn't your fault. unfortunately these things happen. just do your best to keep yourself busy so you don't have long stretches when you have time to think about all negative things. anything activity that you like to do you should do on your free time. hang in there. and ignore that loser hahahah that gave u an answer.
pray for her and dont push urself too much to forget that...try to work more and concentrate to works...and hate committing suicide....
It just takes time. I have lost a friend who drowned himself. It took a long time for me to get over it and I still after many years think about my friend Will. Give yourself a break. You are doing very well by putting yourself out there.
well theres no way of getting over it. you'll still always feel that pain of loosing him.
(stop cutting yourself)
try and do things to get your mind off it. like read a book or watch funny movies (knocked up was good) or the simpsons.
good luck
♥
Answers: Jesus ******* christ- to the hahaha asshole:
F U C K Y O U!
Go burn in ******* hell, you insensitive ************* piece of ****.
Better yet, go drink some bleach (preferably in a dark, damp hole in the ground in which you will be devoured by worms and bacteria, rotting away to bone.)
*****. I can't believe you'd say something like that!
As for the question:
Know that your friend made a choice, and it is something that he felt was the right one. Something in his personality, his character, his life, anything- prevented him from seeing any benevolence in life. I am sure he loved you, his family, his other friends. I am sure he loved them more than anything, but the distortion our minds experience in suicidal and/or depressive states drowns us in guilt, feelings of inferiority, worthlessness. He though he doing the best thing for you and everyone.
Don't have his misery manifest into your own. Learn from his decisions that life is to be lived. You are here once and only once in the living flesh, and to take advantage of your opportunities and to grasp it with all your strength is the best you can make of your friend's death- show that it taught you something.
I am sorry. It is hard for me to write this, as I have come very close to checking out many times. It is hard for us to consider the true consequences of our actions sometimes. Sorry.
First of all have a *hug*, I had the same thing happen to me 2 years ago and it will stay in your mind sure but it does get easier.
What helped me was to start thinking about life in a very simple and slowed down way. What you need to say to yourself it that it was the thing the person thought was best to do and no one can change that, if you are religious think of it as what God intended, the person is not sad anymore and you need to carry on with your life and try to be happy for yourself.
If you want to see a therapist they will help and will have better advice than me.
Just take it slow and don’t try and force yourself into becoming happier straight away because it wont work, just go with the flow and it will get better.
Hope it gets better soon x
You are probably still going through the stages of grief, to which, there is often guilt that the friends and family feel; blaming themselves for not having recognised the signs, and done something about it. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type grief in the taskbar, and enter. Call: (U.S.A.) 1800 445 4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri... and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: It can't be happening.
Anger: Why ME? It's not fair?! (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as responsible )
Bargaining: Just let me live to see my son graduate.
Depression: I'm so sad, why bother with anything?
Acceptance: It's going to be OK.
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.
Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning
Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/.
Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.
Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent, Simon and Schuster.
Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.
James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins.
Worden, J. W. (2001). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional, Springer Publishing.
Allow yourself only so many minutes to think about it when the thoughts arise. Distract yourself with your favorite things. Write the friend a letter on how you feel about the suicide, how much you miss them, etc.
i would advise you to discuss this with someone proffesional, i know it may upset you a little but it will help you get on with your life. maybe visit someone like your school council for example. Good luck.
Those who were close to a person who commits suicide often have a mix of feelings. Along with the usual grief, you have a certain amount of guilt- at simply being alive yourself, at not being able to save your friend, at failing to have interfered in time- the list can be quite long. Time often helps people come to terms with both, but it might be helpful at this point if you could talk to a grief counsellor or other mental health person. Your feelings are normal, though. There isn't a specific time period by which we should have gotten over a loss, and three months is still pretty soon to expect to feel all better. If you don't want to see a grief counsellor or mental health professional, and you are a spiritual person, your spiritual advisor may be able to help you better put your feelings in perspective and in order. Eventually you will feel better, and more able to enjoy your own life, without the feelings you currently have. But for your own peace of mind in the meantime, just consider talking it over with somebody trained to understand and help.
It will take some time. It would be a good idea to talk to someone like a school counselor, Pastor of your church or there are even support groups that meet for people who have lost a friend or family member to suicide. Try looking in your local newspaper or telephone book for one of these support groups. Take care and give yourself time to greive and heal.
i think its just going to take time. most importantly you have to know that it wasn't your fault. unfortunately these things happen. just do your best to keep yourself busy so you don't have long stretches when you have time to think about all negative things. anything activity that you like to do you should do on your free time. hang in there. and ignore that loser hahahah that gave u an answer.
pray for her and dont push urself too much to forget that...try to work more and concentrate to works...and hate committing suicide....
It just takes time. I have lost a friend who drowned himself. It took a long time for me to get over it and I still after many years think about my friend Will. Give yourself a break. You are doing very well by putting yourself out there.
well theres no way of getting over it. you'll still always feel that pain of loosing him.
(stop cutting yourself)
try and do things to get your mind off it. like read a book or watch funny movies (knocked up was good) or the simpsons.
good luck
♥
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